Rediscovering My First Love

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my first love. How I felt about him. How he made me feel. I remember when I first met him…It was electric.  I couldn’t wait to spend time with him, to talk to him, to hear his voice.  I loved feeling him next to me, holding me.  I met him 18 years ago and he told he loved me so much he would die for me. Wow!!! No one had ever said that to me before.  He wrote me love letters and I read them over and over again.  I showed these letters to my friends and I even introduced them to him and a few of them even learned to love him too. My first love was not the boy with whom I shared my first kiss. It was not my  high school boyfriend.  It’s not even my husband of 25 years.  My first love is Jesus Christ.  I was listening recently to a very convicting sermon centered on the Book of Revelation.  I was waiting for the explanation of the symbolism, the description of Armageddon and the Rapture.  What I got was much more. God spoke and I was convicted. I realized that I had left my first love.  I had not lost Him because I knew where He was.  You can’t lose something if you know where it is.  I left Him.  I didn’t do this overnight.  It happened gradually over 18 years.  When I first accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior I prayed several times a day, I read the Bible morning and night, went to church Sunday and Wednesday night, I spent time with other believers..  I attended Bible studies and worked on my study throughout the week.  I listened to Bible teachings on tape.  I couldn’t get enough.  Now I was lucky to pray once a day and maybe open my Bible on Sundays.  I left Him. He did not leave me.  I chose to walk away from Him.  Jesus is a gentleman, He waits to be invited in.  He does not push Himself on anyone. As I was listening to this sermon the pastor said we needed to “Remember, Repent and Repeat.”  We needed to remember what we used to do when we were first saved. We needed to repent of those sins, those distractions that have taken our attention away from Him.  Finally, we needed to repeat those first things that we used to do to be close to to Him. I have to tell you I enjoy my iPhone.  I enjoy the apps you can download and the myriad of choices within those applications.  So I recently found two apps that have nothing but bible teaching from two of the most prominent preachers in Christian circles, John MacArthur and Greg Laurie.  In order to help me in rediscovering Jesus, I have utilized both of these apps.  I have begun to walk 3 miles a day.  On those walks I plug my headphones into my phone and I listen to either pastor and I get a great workout as I glean life application of Scripture. This has spilled over into other aspects of my life.  I now have the You Version Bible app on my phone and I am using this to read through the Bible in a year.  I have used my job as an excuse not to start out my day reading the Bible.  I get up at 2:30a.m. for work and up until this point, have NEVER made a conscience effort to read the Bible in the morning.  “I have to get ready for work , I have to make my lunch, I’m too tired.”  The excuses went on and on.  A friend of mine recently told me, “I realized that I was checking my facebook and my email in the morning.  Why couldn’t I use that time to read my Bible instead.”  That’s when it dawned on me…I was doing the same thing. I was checking email, Facebook and even playing games prior to spending time with God. Then at the end of the day, when I crawled into bed I would attempt to read a section of the Bible and barely get through one verse of Scripture.  I asked God to forgive me for this and I have begun to read the Message version, a very easy to read version, through in a year. I do this first thing in the morning.  It’s funny, I’m not tired in the morning and I have not been late to work once.  This has trickled into my work life. A colleague of mine and I have begun having a Bible study every Thursday.  We meet for coffee after work and go through the questions related to the book we are reading.  Nothing stops us from meeting.  We had our first meeting and boy did we get attacked throughout the day and things kept coming up that were threatening to encroach on our time.  We kept praying for each other, texting and emailing each other that NOTHING was going to get in our way of meeting.  Nothing did. We read the assigned reading throughout the week and grow closer to God through those readings.   While I am still tempted not to read my bible, I am still tempted to not listen to Christian teaching, I am still tempted NOT to pray. God is working on me and I haven’t felt this close to Him in a very long time.  How about you? Have you left your first love? Do you remember those things you used to do to draw closer to Him? How about clearing away some of the clutter, some of the distractions that have been pulling you away from Him and start putting Him first.  Tell Him you’re sorry for putting other things before Him and come back to your first love. He’s waiting at your door.  He’s knocking…are you going to let Him in?

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4 thoughts on “Rediscovering My First Love

  1. I am going through a class on this too, we are looking about our own relationship with God and Jesus. I find that I am more at peace than I have ever been when I read the bible.

    • Thanks Sherry. I think sometimes we get too comfortable knowing that God loves us and is always there for us. We get complacent and we compromise and pretty soon that complacency and compromise lead us further and further away from Him.

  2. Liz:

    The Bible is God’s love letter to us. No wonder we find peace, joy, comfort, love, mercy and grace when we read it. Keep reading and may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob wrap His arms around you and show you how much He loves you.

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